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The Daily Cruise and Travel News "Podcast" with Tom Drake
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THE DAILY CRUISE AND TRAVEL NEWS “PODCAST” WITH TOM DRAKE For nearly 30 years, comedian Tom Drake has gone where most people only dream of vacationing—performing stand-up aboard cruise ships around the world, crossing countless oceans, visiting faraway ports, enduring crowded airports, and witnessing nearly every kind of travel triumph and disaster imaginable. After that much time at sea, Tom has seen everything, done everything, and—at least according to Tom—now knows everything. That’s why he has earned the title “Guru of the Seas.” Every Monday through Friday, The Daily Cruise and Travel News “Podcast” with Tom Drake delivers the biggest stories making waves across the cruise and travel industries. Tom breaks down the day’s headlines, explains what they really mean for travelers, and shares the frank, funny, and completely unfiltered opinions you will not find in a cruise line press release. New ships. Changing policies. Airline meltdowns. Port problems. Passenger behavior. Travel trends. Strange stories from the high seas. If it affects the way people cruise, fly, or attempt to get from one place to another, Tom is talking about it. This is not a polished commercial for the travel industry. It is an honest look behind the curtain from someone who has spent decades working inside it—with a microphone in his hand, a comedian’s eye for the absurd, and very little interest in sugarcoating the truth. Whether you are a seasoned cruiser, planning your first voyage, frustrated with air travel, or simply enjoy sharp commentary and a good laugh, climb aboard. The Daily Cruise and Travel News “Podcast” with Tom Drake—weekdays wherever people “pod their cast.”
Episodes
966 episodes · about 40 min each
The next time he goes through Heathrow, the guru might sign up for the Diamond Air service! Does the world need another new hotel brand? Who is behind the World Cruise Awards, and can you pay to win? Delta flight attendant biter Selma Blair's attorney told the judge his client is the Gold Standard. Sure, and soon she will be endorsed by the American Dental Association.
The Maldives government suspends the 17% tourist tax when it realizes people might not visit its islands. DUH! TSA officials arrest a flyer in Phoenix after discovering he filled his Apple Mac mini with illegal narcotics. What's the big deal? Have you downloaded this app yet? It is called Flush, and it will help you find a bathroom. They should've called the toilet quest. The DOT will change the rules for situations where airlines disappoint you. They will have more opportunities to stick it to you!
The Mexican government changed its mind and decided to ban big ships from visiting Loreto. Why? To protect the blue whale. I couldn't do a survey by Yelp and Lyft; New Orleans is the most popular city in America for dining out. Really? Another traveler from Havana, Cuba, was arrested in Miami with a dozen birds in his crotch! A German tourist was arrested in Majorca after breaking into a hotel room in order to fulfill a TikTok challenge.
Carnival reduces the size of the funnel on the ship and makes the casino larger. Disney's new ship will have a Frozen-themed restaurant. Hopefully that's not the food! Watch out for the showgirls in Vegas. Their new tourism program includes whacking the tourists with their shoe. A hurricane is heading towards Florida, but that won't keep the guru from getting home!!
Another American cruise is arrested in Nassau after he punches out a guy's car window! Idiots remain on display. At John Wayne Airport, one genius stole a baggage truck, crashed into another, then tried to steal a third. He should have quit after the first one. According to Yelp, the number-one restaurant in the United States is called the "filthy animal." Hopefully it's not named after the guys in the kitchen. Are you ready to dine 16 feet under the Ocean?
American Airlines is building a massive Admirals Club at Charlotte Airport for people dealing with flight delays. Holland America will be taking over P&O's Arcadia, which will fit nicely into the HAL portfolio. Miami airport officials arrest a man coming from Cuba with 12 birds stuffed in his pants. If you are a solo traveler, you should consider joining the Best at Sea Tours family!
The British government is back to telling airlines how to operate their business. A mistake? Walking more and walking faster helps you live longer, according to the latest study. It was not a yacht owner in Greece who tried to have the entire Virgin Voyages ship arrested. Not for behavior on board, but for whacking into his yacht! After eight 2028 dry dock, the Crysta Serenity will have a two-bedroom owner's suite. Great idea! There are still rooms available. Join the guru for America's funniest cruise on February 14, 2027. Visit BestatSeaTours.com
Are Americans really going to Paris for Disneyland, or are is it the Europeans who aren't coming to Orlando for Disney World? The new Princess builds force everybody to sit around the atrium for entertainment! Swiss officials catch drug smugglers trying to bring cocaine filled lollipops through the airport. Who loves Ya, baby. Let's be honest. It's a challenge to develop anything new for cruise ship production shows. Save the money. Hire more comedians.
Royal Caribbean tells guests that the toilets will be rationed for a few hours! New York is named the number one place travelers look for romance! Police confiscate 200 lbs of marijuana that was being flown commercially into Orlando! Carnival plans and more short cruises out of Galveston. Yee Haw!
Miami police locked up a mother who left her four kids in the bathroom at home so she could go on a Carnival Cruise. I guess she hadn't heard about the food. Have you ever been in line at TSA with a guy who was a turtle in his pants? Some travelers have! Soon, TSA ID checkers will have to stand while checking you out. Why? Because the bosses took away the chairs! During the Nor'easter in New Jersey, people saw a shark swimming down a street in South Jersey. Why? He was probably avoiding the tolls on the turnpike.
Boeing might have another 737 MAX jet safety problem to deal with! The Alaska Air Group will start chasing that premium seat-dollar revenue by installing seats for humans on their planes! US Customs and Border Protection has arrested and deported 87 crew members as part of its criminal crackdown! Don't forget to book now to join Dottie and Tom for America's funniest cruise on February 14, 2027.
Airfare will keep rising, and airlines will keep making money by flying fewer planes at higher prices! Holland America is bringing a special pudding aboard to celebrate 30 years of having a private island! The Guru feels total relief after ending his 13-year relationship with T-Mobile! Like Taylor Swift, he will probably have to write a song about this breakup. 100 men on Royal Caribbean who were sandbagged by their spouses when they joined the group, all wearing the same shirt. Check that. The same ugly shirt.
Travel tip from the Guru! Before you visit the UAE, make sure your prescription drivers are allowed. Better yet. Don't visit the UAE. The Atlanta zoo has two new pandas who flew from China on a $275,000 charter flight. Soon that'll be the cost of two first-class seats on Emirates. Have you ever wondered what it means when flight attendants say "disarm doors" and "crosscheck"? New Guru Music today. "Please don't ask me how you are doing". This song is dedicated to anyone who is fed up with being asked to fill out service.
Royal Caribbean reneges on its offer to give an Australian guest five cruises free because they found out he won in the casino! The first two hurricanes of the season are creating chaos for cruises in North America. Wine growers in America are slowing production because young people aren't enjoying a nice Pinot! Watch ships transit the Panama Canal with Tom and Dottie on the Crystal Symphony, February 26, 2027
Royal Caribbean reneges on its offer to give an Australian guest five cruises free because they found out he won in the casino! The first two hurricanes of the season are creating chaos for cruises in North America. Wine growers in America are slowing production because young people aren't enjoying a nice Pinot! Watch ships transit the Panama Canal with Tom and Dottie on the Crystal Symphony, February 26, 2027
Royal Caribbean and Sandals Beach Resorts plan to conquer the world. A flyer with 14 fake IDs gets arrested after his Xbox raises questions. After it's sold, the Oceania Sirena will also become the home of Semester at Sea. That's a long way from the best food in the cruise industry. And a new Guru Music song, "Sounds of Philadelphia" style!
Norwegian Cruise Line Holdings employees join many others to clean up the South Florida coastline. Great job! A New Jersey contractor team cuts a fiber optic line and shuts down all major airports. Oh well, time for coffee! Zac Brown becomes Mr. Margaritaville at Sea, replacing Jimmy Buffett as the face of the cruise line! Five Carnival ships are bringing back full muster drills. Relax, people; it is temporary.
Would you want to stay at a hotel with dormitory bunk beds and no TV's? I hope not! TSA in Tampa arrested a flyer who hid a double-edged knife inside a fake baseball bat, and he wasn't even a magician! Four EasyJet flyers were put off the plane because they continued to vape after they were told not to. Next time, put them off at 30,000 feet. Join the Guru next year for a fabulous cruise from Liverpool to Lisbon, including two overnights in Bordeaux.
Somebody find the Guru good news to talk about! Travel and Leisure recommends that solo travelers to Jamaica bring a portable door lock, an anti-theft bag, a personal safety alarm, and a secure holder for their passport and money! What. No Bazooka? The brand-new pier in Whittier, Alaska, that caught on fire has been declared a total loss! It's a shame there wasn't water nearby! Join Best at Sea Tours for America's funniest cruise February 14 through the 21st, 2027!
Royal Caribbean has chosen an amazing military veteran as the godmother of their new mega-mother. A glitch in the air traffic control system left thousands of English flyers stranded. Here's why. 13 young morons are banned from sailing to Costa after starting a massive brawl on board. No new cases of Norovirus. Well done, people. Keep washing those paws!