Oct. 7, 2026. Is Holland America pointed in the right direction? The Guru thinks so.

Good news from IHG Hotels. As the Guru predicted, Americans are staying home and spending their money in the good old USA. Another moron threatens to hijack a plane on a Vegas flight and goes down the gangway wearing cuffs! The UK's Defense Minister tells the British people to prepare for war! Putz! There is still time to join the guru for New Year's Eve on Crystal or America's Funniest Cruise on Holland America!!

The Guru does not agree that Newark Airport is the most stressful in the country! That safari will soon cost a few more bucks. Tanzania now requires you to buy their travel insurance to see a giraffe in the wild! Three guests joining the Norwegian Jewel get popped for carrying a pharmacy with them. None of it was legal. Condé Nast readers ranked Oceania ninth in the mid-size ship category, destroying any credibility!

TSA rules say your prescription drugs do not have to be in the original bottle, but be careful outside the U.S. Cruising year-round will be the next big thing because it could work and because there's too many damn ships! AAA reports that a record number of Americans will walk up the gangway and try cruising for the vacation. The lazy Hotel industry is helping. The biggest mistake cruisers make is not doing too much on the cruise; it's choosing the wrong cruise line!

A drunk who stole a flamingo in Las Vegas could end up in jail protecting his flamingo! American Express is trying to foot the bill for the travel industry by offering points only for bookings through its arms! Are travelers ready to give up all their privacy for faster check-in? A new AARP survey reports that it will cost quite a bit more this year to visit Grandma for Christmas.

Another dope loses it on Singapore airlines plane and forces the pilot to turn back after nine hours! The cruise from hell. A 16-day Carnival repositioning cruise with only one Port Call! Paris is burning and the NFL is heading there for a game on Sunday. That's another riot! The US State Department does people if the lions in Kenya don't get you, the criminals will!

A cruise guest is arrested in Tampa, drunk out of his mind, carrying a backpack full of pills. How did he get caught? In 2028, United First Class passengers will taste their new wine, formulated 35,000 feet in the air, where the boss who came up with the idea lives. A recent study reports that Iowa is one of the cheapest places to retire to. Does that need explanation? The former majesty of the seas is up for sale for $40 million. The Guru will pass on this fine offer.